I dated a black guy in high school. (I'm white.)

I really liked him, and I think he really liked me. (Let's call him Mark.) Mark's best friend (Ken) was white and his girlfriend (Barbie) was black. (??) Well, Barbie's parents didn't approve of her white boyfriend, but my parents didn't have a problem with my black "boyfriend". I think they thought we were just friends. To go to the prom, Ken had to pick me up, so that Mark could pick Barbie up. When we got to the prom we just swapped dates. I was pretty much a nobody in high school, so the fact that people stared or whispered wasn't a big deal. I didn't have anything to lose. (Is that as clear as mud? That has nothing to do with the relationship, I just think it's an interesting litte story and it is totally true.)

Anyway...Mark and I may have actually had a future together if I could have handled the racial thing. I thought I could, but during the summer before my senior year I went on a trip with my church choir. This was a Southern Baptist church and of course, there were chaperones. Anytime we passed black people one of the chaperones would make really ugly comments. Watermelon and fried chicken kinds of comments. She was a "good, Christian woman" and a school teacher. Well, when I got home, things just weren't the same between Mark and me. I knew I couldn't handle the interracial problems we would have, but I didn't want to tell him why. Now here's the kicker: The reason I didn't want to tell him was because I didn't want him to think ill of the people in the Baptist church!!!!!! Is that insane or what???? I just let him be totally hurt and confused so that the bigots in my church would be protected!! I so, so, so regret that. I have recently discovered that he is living back in our hometown (I live somewhere else), and I know where he works and everything. I have quite an urge to contact him and tell him this whole thing, but he's happily married and so am I and I might just be opening up a can of worms for nothing. I would love to have closure, and to be honest, I'd love to see and talk to him again, but I'm trying to be rational. I thought maybe if I wrote this down in my blog it would help me. We'll see.